Aging. Yes, I know. It is not for sissies. Aging can feel like a sneak attack. Suddenly you catch a glimpse of yourself and wonder who that old person is? Or see a class reunion picture and wonder why are there so many pictures of much older adults at my class reunion?
Dr Brene Brown shares ““Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you “I’m not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given.”I remember being a kid and thinking that a person who is 30 is OLD????!!! Well- here I am in the secondpart of my life and truly wondering how did I get here? Where did the time go? And what is going on with my knees……
Sometimes aging feels like an ongoing battle. The obvious battle with everything sagging, drooping,changing. Sometimes the battle is against ageism in our culture. Sometimes the battle is in our curious,endlessly questioning minds. But often it feels like an internal battle with time. How much is left? What do I want to do with what has now become very precious? There seems to come a time when a momentous shift takes place, and we step in a greater awareness.
To elaborate on the above quote from Dr Brene Brown:
“I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.
Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
Here are some of the more sobering facts pertaining to aging: Mental health problems can increase with older age- stress from caring for aging parents, responses to chronic physical ailments, loneliness, lack of support, and previously undiagnosed mental health issues. Here is a sobering statistic: older adults have the highest suicide rates in the country. Often older adults are misdiagnosed with a mental health concern or misunderstood by their health practitioner. Most of the research indicates that our mental health is just as important as our physical health as we age. I would encourage all of us to be aware of not only the physical, but also the mental health of our aging parents and loved ones. And encourage help where needed.
Back to me though- and my quest to discover what Dr. Brene Brown is inviting us to do- discover
positivity in aging. Can this time be endless opportunity to discover more of what is within? What would It feel like to embrace each day not focusing on what is lost, but how to get the most out of every day?
What would you do differently if you had one year left? I want to share a few things I learned from Cathleen Toomey in her Tedx Piscataqua River talk, The Secret of Successful Aging.
● Do not let loneliness take over your life
● Engage in real conversations
● Celebrate your age
● Defy expectations
● Grow
I think she actually said grow friendships- but I like to think of continuing to grow in all aspects. Except my stomach area.