Finding Your Glimmers: Small Moments That Spark Joy and Safety

As a therapist, I spend a lot of time talking to people about their triggers—those moments,

memories, or sensations that activate the body’s stress response. Triggers often feel like alarms

going off, pulling us back into old patterns of fear, anxiety, or pain. But what if I told you there’s

another side to this story?

Enter glimmers.

What are Glimmers?

Coined by Deb Dana, a pioneer in polyvagal theory, glimmers are those micro-moments of

safety, connection, and ease that signal to your nervous system, “You’re okay” (Dana, 2018).

They’re the opposite of triggers—small, often subtle experiences that activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help your body shift out of fight-or-flight, and into a state of calm and regulation.

Glimmers are the tiny sparks that bring a sense of warmth or comfort—like feeling the sun on your face after a long winter, hearing your favorite song unexpectedly, or sharing a genuine laugh with a friend.

Why Glimmers Matter

Our brains are wired to scan for threats, a survival mechanism that’s been essential throughout

human history (Porges, 2011). But in today’s world, where chronic stress is often the norm, we can get stuck in that hyper-alert state. Recognizing glimmers helps retrain your nervous system, teaching it to notice and savor moments of safety and joy.

When you intentionally look for and embrace glimmers, you are:

• Strengthening your ability to self-regulate

• Building resilience in the face of stress

• Creating a stronger foundation for emotional well-being
  

Glimmers can act as your emotional anchors. Just as triggers can throw you off balance, glimmers can help you reset. Being aware of your glimmers can add to your emotional toolkit for navigating challenging moments. A recent study found that experiencing daily positive moments can have a profound positive impact on your mood, suggesting that intentionally taking time to notice and engage with glimmers can boost your mood and overall wellbeing.

Additionally, attending to your glimmers can help rewire your brain with “micro-doses” of healing. Similarly to the way that experiencing stress can make anxiety feel second nature, regularly noting your glimmers can rewire your brain to find comfort more easily. Since our brain is always learning and adapting, if you are constantly attending to perceived threats, it will become wired toward stress and hypervigilance. Conversely, consistently attending to positives like gratitude and glimmers can serve to counteract stress responses by conditioning the brain to recognize safety and notice calm, supporting in regulating the nervous system. Just as chronic stress can wire the brain for anxiety, consistent attention to glimmers can help train it to default to calm.

How to Start Noticing Your Glimmers

1. Slow Down and Pay Attention. Glimmers are subtle. It might be the warmth of a cup of coffee in your hands, the sight of your pet curling up nearby, or the smell offresh grass after a rain. Pause and notice how these moments feel in your body.

2. Engage Your Senses. Glimmers often show up through sensory experiences. What sights, sounds, tastes, or textures bring you a sense of comfort or peace? Pay attention to those.

3. Name and Claim Them. When you notice a glimmer, acknowledge it. Say to yourself, “This feels good,” or “I feel safe right now.” Naming the experience helps your brain create a positive association (Siegel, 2010). Sharing your glimmers with a friend can also serve to reinforce the experience.

4. Create Space for More Glimmers. Build routines that invite these moments into your day. It could be a few minutes of stretching, stepping outside for fresh air, or intentionally spending time with someone who makes you feel seen and valued.

Think of glimmers as breadcrumbs leading you back to a place of balance. As with anything, practice and repetition are essential, so be sure to remind yourself that this will take time and that it will be time well spent. Over time, the more you intentionally and consistently take time to recognize and cultivate these moments, the more resilient and regulated your nervous system becomes, as your brain rewires itself to seek out and attend to these positive, calm moments. Instead of living in a state of constant vigilance, you can begin to experience more calm, connection, and joy.

In a world that often moves too fast and demands too much, glimmers remind us that safety, beauty, and peace still exist—even in the smallest of moments. They’re not just nice-to-haves; they’re essential for restoring balance and nurturing your well-being.

So, what’s one glimmer you can notice today?

References

Cherry, K. (2022). What does it mean to be triggered? Verywell Mind.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-triggered-4175432

Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W. W. Norton &

Company.

Porges, S. W. (2007). The polyvagal perspective. Biological Psychology, 74(2), 116–143.

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2006.06.009

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment,

Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton &Company.

Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation. BantamBooks.

VanBeek, M., & Grady, S. M. (2022). Individual differences in emotional reactivity to triggers:

Exploring the role of personality traits. Personality and Individual Differences, 184, 111204.

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2021.111204

Navigating Slippery Springtime Mental Health

I often hear clients describe anxiety and depression as feeling stuck—trapped in place, unsure how to move forward. When you're overwhelmed by sadness, fear, or exhaustion, even the simplest steps toward change can feel impossible.

I like to compare this experience to walking on an icy surface, and these abound during our Montana Springs with countless thaws and freezes. If I happen to be lucky enough to be your therapist, I am sure you’ve heard by now of the great woe of breaking my micro-spikes this year. Imagine standing on a frozen path, afraid that if you move, you’ll slip and fall, a place I’ve been in probably more times than a well-reasoned woman should given my refusal to buy new spikes. Your body tenses, your breath shortens, and you second-guess every step. You might even consider staying still because it feels safer. But deep down, you know you can’t stay there forever. You have to move forward.

So how do you take that first step when fear and doubt are holding you back?

1. Acknowledge the Fear Without Letting It Paralyze You

When walking on ice, the fear of falling is real. Similarly, in anxiety or depression, the fear of failing, making the wrong choice, or feeling worse can keep you frozen in place. But just like ice, the fear itself is not a solid barrier—it’s something you can navigate with care.

Instead of fighting your emotions, acknowledge them:
"I feel scared right now. I don’t know how this will turn out, but I can take one step at a time."

Giving yourself permission to feel fear without judgment can help loosen its grip.

2. Find Your Balance—Even If It Feels Unsteady

On ice, balance is key. You instinctively keep your center of gravity low, take smaller steps, and focus on each movement rather than the whole distance ahead. The same applies when moving through anxiety or depression.

Instead of pressuring yourself to fix everything at once, shift your focus to small, manageable actions:

• Drinking a glass of water

• Stepping outside for fresh air

• Responding to one text from a friend

• Taking a few deep breaths

These might seem insignificant, but small movements help you regain stability.

3. Use Supports to Keep You Steady

Just like holding onto a railing or wearing traction boots on ice, using external supports can make movement safer and easier. In mental health, support might look like:

• Talking to a therapist

• Reaching out to a trusted friend

• Engaging in grounding exercises

• Relying on routines that provide structure

Leaning on others doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re using the resources available to help you keep moving.

4. Accept That Slips Happen—But They Don’t Mean You’re Back at Square One

Even with careful steps, you might still slip. Maybe you have a bad mental health day after making progress, or your anxiety spikes unexpectedly. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Just as slipping on ice doesn’t erase the distance you’ve already covered, setbacks don’t erase your progress.

Instead of beating yourself up, practice self-compassion:
"That was a tough moment, but I’m still moving forward."

Learning to recover from small slips builds resilience, making it easier to keep going.

5. Keep Your Eyes on Where You Want to Go—Not Just Where You Are Now

When walking on ice, focusing only on your feet can make you feel more unstable. Instead, it helps to look slightly ahead, keeping your destination in mind. With anxiety and depression, setting small, realistic goals can help you move forward with more confidence.

Ask yourself:

• What is one thing I can look forward to today, no matter how small?

• What’s one step I can take this week to feel more connected or cared for?

• How can I remind myself that I won’t always feel this way?

Holding onto hope, even in small ways, can make a significant difference.

Final Thoughts: Keep Moving, Even If It’s Slow

Getting through anxiety and depression isn’t about making big, bold moves all at once. It’s about careful, intentional steps forward—just like navigating an icy path. Some days, those steps will feel steady, and other days, they’ll feel wobbly. But every movement, no matter how small, brings you closer to solid ground.

You don’t have to sprint. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to keep going, one step at a time. And with time, you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come. Keep the flame of hope burning, Spring is coming.