Self-Care During the Holidays: A Guide for Postpartum Families

The holiday season is often associated with joy, connection, and celebration, but for postpartum families, it can also bring stress, exhaustion, and a sense of overwhelm. Juggling a newborn’s needs, your own recovery, and the pressures of holiday traditions can feel daunting. Prioritizing self-care during this time is essential—not just for surviving the season, but for truly enjoying it in your own way.

Here are some tips for how postpartum families can navigate the holidays:

1. Embrace Simplicity

The pressure to maintain every holiday tradition can be overwhelming. Postpartum life is the perfect time to simplify. Focus on a few meaningful activities rather than trying to do everything. This might mean skipping elaborate meals in favor of a cozy potluck or foregoing long travels for virtual celebrations. Remember: the holidays can still be magical even when scaled back.

2. Communicate Boundaries

Family and friends may have expectations, but your health and well-being come first. Politely but firmly set boundaries that protect your time and energy. It’s okay to say no to gatherings, limit visitors, or keep the baby with you rather than passing your newborn around. Consider scripting responses in advance, such as: “We’d love to celebrate with you, but we’re keeping things low-key this year to focus on rest and recovery.”

3. Prioritize Rest

Newborns don’t understand holiday schedules. This means sleepless nights and irregular routines can persist. Make rest a priority whenever possible. Take advantage of quiet moments, delegate tasks, and don’t feel guilty about taking breaks to recharge.

4. Lean on Your Support System

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s someone bringing over a meal, running errands, or holding the baby while you shower, small acts of support can make a huge difference. If you’re partnered, check in regularly to share responsibilities and emotional support.

5. Practice Gratitude

Postpartum life can feel overwhelming, but finding small moments of gratitude can be grounding. Whether it’s a warm cup of tea, a snuggle with your baby, or a kind word from a loved one, recognizing these moments can bring a sense of calm and joy to your day.

6. Let Go of Perfection

This is not the season for perfection. The holidays don’t have to look picture-perfect to be meaningful. Focus on what truly matters: the health, happiness, and love within your family.

7. Take Care of Your Mental Health

Postpartum life can bring about a range of emotions, from joy to anxiety to sadness. If the holiday season feels overwhelming or you’re struggling, reach out to a trusted friend, a family member, or a postpartum therapist. There’s no shame in seeking support when you need it. Bridger Peaks Counseling offers postpartum anxiety and depression therapy at both their Bozeman and Missoula offices.

8. Celebrate Small Wins

Navigating the holidays with a newborn is no small feat. Celebrate the small victories—whether it’s getting through a holiday dinner, finding time to decorate the tree, or simply getting lots of rest. The holidays are a time for connection and love, but they’re also a time to care for yourself and honor this unique season in your life. By embracing simplicity, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your well-being, you can create a holiday experience that is meaningful and manageable for your postpartum family. This year, give yourself the gift of grace. You deserve it.

Take the First Step Toward a Joyful Postpartum Holiday Season

The holidays can be a challenging time for postpartum families, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by expectations, struggling with postpartum emotions, or simply need a supportive space to talk, help is available. At Bridger Peaks Counseling, we specialize in postpartum anxiety and depression therapy and are here to support you through this season. Together, we can create a plan to help you prioritize your well-being and find moments of joy and connection during the holidays.

1. Contact us today to schedule a session in our Bozeman or Missoula offices.

2. Learn more about postpartum by reading our blogs.

3. Let’s make this holiday season one of care, grace, and healing.

Additional Services We Offer in Bozeman & Missoula, MT

At Bridger Peaks Counseling, we’re dedicated to offering a diverse range of mental health services to support your unique needs. Our mental health therapists provide teen counseling, group therapy, Rising Strong workshops, and body image counseling. We also offer specialized care for depression, grief and loss, and online therapy options. Other services include EMDR, trauma therapy, and psychiatric care.

The Consequences of Perfectionism

Perfectionism – After 60 years of trying to live up to the idea that I need to do things better, faster, quieter, prettier, and yes even “funner”, I have decided to take that idea and throw it away. Perfectionism does not bring me joy, it gives me a reason to think that I am less than, that I will never live up to mine or anyone else’s expectations.

Perfectionism and comparison go together. I think it’s easy to measure ourselves based on someone else’s standards. We see picture-perfect people and homes and closets and bodies on social media, and we think we must live up to that. But #1 – a lot of that isn’t real or isn’t as it seems and #2 – I guarantee that most of those people are trying to live up to someone else. It’s human nature to compare and to crave. But you never know what someone else is going through. You never know what they wish they had. You might be jealous of someone else or trying to look as perfect as someone else, but I promise you they don’t think they’re perfect. 

Letting Go of Perfectionism: A Lifelong Journey

If you are comparing yourself to others or trying to reflect an outer appearance of perfection, whether in real life or on social media, it’s time to give yourself a break. NO ONE is perfect. Everyone’s definition of perfection is different. You are trying to live up to impossible standards that don’t exist.

If you’re constantly striving toward perfection, then it may lead to an array of mental health problems. But there are steps you can take to help you learn to improve your overall well-being.

Jason Drake, a licensed clinical social worker, stated that “in order to overcome or manage perfectionism, you need to become aware of your thoughts and behaviors around your perfectionism”.

The Hidden Mental Health Costs of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is often linked to depression and anxiety and can lead to great frustration, fear, and self-sabotage. When the pressure gets really intense, it can even lead to a paralyzing fear of failure. I’m not talking about the drive and need to excel because there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m talking about the constant need to control the outcome of every possible situation.

To my great frustration, my perfectionism has the opposite of the desired effect: I become worse at what I what I do. I am no longer able to be flexible, experimental, and curious. I notice that when my perfectionist tendencies are at their strongest, my creativity doesn’t flow, and I can’t show up in my relationships the way I want to. When my perfectionism feels extra strong, I self-sabotage by just not showing up at all. I choose the disappointment of what could have been over the potential pain of being confronted with my own shortcomings.

Healthy Self-Reflection vs. Perfectionism: What’s the Difference?

The difference between healthy self-reflection and perfectionism feels very clear to me. When my perfectionist tendencies show up, my body becomes tense, my breathing shallow, and my thoughts scattered. I want to immediately go and fix things and drop whatever else I was doing at that moment. Perfectionism can be seen as a positive force for improvement and progress, but it does not come from a positive place. It is a fear-based approach, and underneath it lies a fear that if we are not perfect at what we set out to do, we are not good enough. And because we set the standards impossibly high for ourselves, we will probably not live up to them. Underneath it lies a fear of criticism, not just from others but mostly from us. When someone finds fault in what we do, that is the confirmation of what we feared all along: that we simply are not good enough at what we care about the most.

While, for some people, perfectionism brings them great success in their careers, it often comes with a high cost. It can lead to frustration, exhaustion, and burnout. The intense pressure we put on ourselves can rob us of our joy and peace.

With all of that said I realize that that these are lessons we all need to learn for ourselves. My hope is that give each other the permission to show ourselves love and kindness and grace and be ourselves with all our beautiful imperfections. If you’re interested in beginning therapy for perfectionism, our therapists at Bridger Peaks Counseling are here to support your journey!

Ready to Embrace Imperfection and Find Joy?

Perfectionism can be a heavy burden, but you don’t have to carry it alone. If you’re ready to break free from the impossible standards and rediscover your creativity, peace, and self-acceptance, we’re here to help.

At Bridger Peaks Counseling, we provide a compassionate space to explore these challenges and develop healthier ways to live authentically. Let’s work together to help you overcome the grip of perfectionism and start living life on your terms.

1. Contact us today to schedule a session.

2. Learn more about perfectionism by exploring our blogs.

3. Take the first step toward embracing your beautifully imperfect self.

Additional Services We Offer in Bozeman & Missoula, MT

At Bridger Peaks Counseling, we’re dedicated to offering a diverse range of mental health services to support your unique needs. Our therapists provide teen counseling, group therapy, Rising Strong workshops, and body image counseling. We also offer specialized care for depression, grief and loss, and online therapy options. Other services include EMDR, postpartum anxiety and depression counseling, and psychiatric care.