A lot of what has been on my mind and pressing has been the idea of change and how to cope when there is so much of it going on. Not only is there change in our daily lives right now but in our society as well. There are some of us who take change in and are ready for it at any moment then there are some of us that it scares the crap out of. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of being effected by change understanding how it impacts us will help us to learn to cope better.
Dr. Srini Pillay an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, states “not everyone I’d affected equally. Pillay suggests that personality determines how change impacts out mental health. For those who seek novelty, change is usually easier to swallow, while those who feel most comfortable with status quo will find life transitions more challenging”.
Renne Fabian on talk space stated “One of the major reasons we struggle with change, and why it can result in cognitive dissonance, is the element of uncertainty. Uncertainty is the enemy of our biological impulses — if we’re unsure whether an animal is a house cat or a blood thirsty tiger, we’re in trouble. Our brain doesn’t like the odds of equations with unknown variables, so it defaults to a negative bias for safety”.
“A study…showed that in people who are uncertain, 75 percent of people mispredict when bad things are going to happen,” Dr. Srini Pillay explains. “The uncertainty biases the brain to expect the worst. That doesn’t mean that change is great and you should expect the best, but you should recognize that your brain will go into…an automatic negativity bias.”
To help soothe the uncertainty that’s causing the brain to fire its stress responses, level the playing field with neutral self-talk phrases such as, “Uncertainty simply means I don’t know the future. It does not mean the future is bad.” Says Fabian
To help combat the uncertainty in change it helps to make a plan and get organized. To do this, change what Pillay calls “goal intentions” to “implementation intentions.” “Rather than saying, ‘I’ll take it as it comes. We’ll see how we’ll handle this,’ which often increases the amount of uncertainty upfront, [make] the intentions more specific by adding an actual time to it,” Pillay suggests. “By making the intentions more specific…you can decrease the uncertainty and therefore make it easier to embrace the change.”
Another way to help cope with change is to give our minds a break. “It may seem prudent to push ourselves into overdrive during these times, but our brain really needs breaks throughout the day to run most efficiently” Fabian states. “When you’re focused, you are essentially collecting the different pieces of the puzzle with your mind, but unfocused time is the time you give to your mind to get these puzzle pieces together,” Pillay tells us. “If you’re going through a change with just continuous focus throughout the day, you are not giving your brain a chance to put these puzzle pieces together.”
There also a part of coping with change and that is dealing with grief and loss. Sometimes the change that comes is out of our control such as losing a loved one or suffering a illness or injury. Texas-based psychotherapist Heidi McBain emphasizes the grieving process as crucial to navigating change. She helps clients by “letting them know that grief takes time but they will feel better, normaliz[ing] that others feel the same way they do, [and] discuss[ing]…how these major life changes have impacted their relationships.
Lastly practicing self care is very important while coping with change even in its most positive of forms. “Often with major life changes, self-care goes right out the window,” says McBain. “It can help to choose one thing each and everyday that you do just for you and your own well-being such as exercise, meditation, [or] journaling.” Getting enough sleep eating healthy and turning to others for support with help us while change is effecting us the most.
Rachael Myers, MSW, LCSW
They often say the most difficult part of therapy "is walking through the door." I believe there is truth to that statement. Therapy is not only an investment in yourself, but it's an investment in your life. Effective therapy can be a powerful way to achieving happiness, acceptance and greater life satisfaction.
The choice of a counselor is an important one. It is my belief the relationship between the therapist and client is the foundation for successful therapy. My goal is to provide clients with a non-judgmental, empathetic, genuine and collaborative environment.
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with the ability to diagnose & treat most mental health issues. I work with individuals on issues pertaining to anxiety, depression, relationships, addiction, self-actualization, anger, self-esteem, and grief.
In addition to individualized counseling; I offer couples therapy, family therapy, community resources, education, and referrals. I would like to help you navigate the challenges that you are facing. You are not alone and there is hope. I can guide you towards increased self-awareness, positive change, and healing.
Rachael Myers, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), graduated in 2011 from Belhaven University, where she received a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. In 2014, she earned a Masters of Social Work (MSW) from Southern University at New Orleans. Rachael has experience in outpatient and inpatient mental health hospitals; working with personality disorders, mood disorders, and addictive disorders. She has completed an externship and core skills 1 in Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) to increase her skills in couples counseling. As a therapist, she is able to integrate her knowledge of mental health issues to help couples, families, and individuals problem-solve, overcome personal issues, and work toward positive outcomes in relationships. In her practice, Rachael believes in a holistic approach. She has an attachment based foundation and incorporates a variety of therapeutic methodologies based on the individual client needs.