I remember being struck by the sound of silence late at night.

Silence.

Only four hours earlier my sweet sister-in-law took her last breath on this earth while holding my hand. Prior to her death, my mind was running amuck with this, that, or the other thing while caring for her needs. My body was overriding my experience in the face of so many needs and exhaustion. 

Now all was silent. 

Yet the quiet was almost deafening. Why, I ask myself? Because it was time for me to stop, to pause, to begin to open up to the world inside my being that longed to be heard, felt, and sensed. Life had moved so quickly from one whispered breath to the stillness of death. I had just experienced the death of someone whom I deeply loved.

This experience led me to think about how in the busyness of life it is so easy to miss the opportunity to take time to be silent and tune into what needs to heard, felt, or sensed.

Right now. In the here and now.

I wonder what possibilities might emerge if we stop and take the time to be silent. Silence can be uncomfortable. As a Provisional Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, I have had many opportunities over my three years of training through Somatic Experiencing International to experience silence. I was able to take time to drop underneath my conscious radar and experience a felt sense in my body. A felt sense is internal body sensations. For example, one can experience a felt sense of safety which the body experiences but can be difficult to put into words.

Dr. Peter Levine, the developer of Somatic Experiencing, states, “to experience embodied awareness, take notice of the underlying sensations that actually inform you about how you feel.  If you were to be asked about how you feel when you are stressed or in pain, a common answer might be, “I feel anxious” or “I feel upset”. It’s important to go further by becoming curious about how you know that you’re feeling anxious or upset. Is there a tightness or burning that is happening right now inside of you that you are labeling “anxiety” or “upset?”. 

Silence Can Help You Heal

In my experience with my sister-in-law, it was important for me to take time to embody the experience I was having. I needed to allow my body to discharge the trauma that I had been through in order to avoid PTSD. This healing began in the silence of that night. 

Embodied awareness can be experienced when we pause and take time to give our bodies the opportunity to fully experience the moment to allow tingling, shaking, or tears. As we do this, our bodies can drop below the conscious mind to allow for a somatic response. This brings regulation and better flow to our nervous systems.

If you’re looking for more resources, the SCOPE chart is a great place to start. It was originally developed by SEI during the early months of the pandemic for first responders. This chart 5 steps people can use to stabilize during stress. I do hope that you can allow yourself a window of silence and experience some relief and peace. 

Begin Grief Counseling in Bozeman, MT

If you would like to schedule an appointment for grief counseling in Bozeman, MT you can contact our Bozeman, MT-based counseling practice. Our team of caring therapists would love to meet you and begin your healing journey.

Other Services at Bridger Peaks near Big Sky, MT

Our counseling practice in the Bozeman, MT area can help you and your family members with many mental health concerns. We see teens and adults for individual counseling, which includes depression therapy, anxiety treatment, body image counseling, and more. Reach out to our caring therapists with any questions.